Alone again, naturally

Alone again, naturally. Alone again. That's how it feels now that everyone's gone. I brought my sister earlier this morning to the airport on her way back to LA. And then, an hour and a half ago, my Dad left for Manila and I won't be seeing him for at least a year. So it's just me and my Mom, again.

Today may have as well been called "The Airport Day" for me. In the morning, it was Oakland International Airport, taking my sister on her flight to LA. In the afternoon, it was San Jose International Airport as I took my cousin, Patrick, back to UC Santa Cruz. In the evening, it was San Francisco International Airport when I took my Dad to his flight back to Manila.

How sad indeed, that suddenly, after all the holiday mayhem, it's now back to the real world. It's back to reality. It's like a slap to the face. It's a wake up call from a wonderful dream. Now, memories of Christmas 2004 will just remain as memories.

Yesterday, everyone except Mom, who wasn't feeling well, went to Alcatraz to tour the popular jailhouse. It was my third time so it wasn't much of an adventure for me. It was also raining so that made the trip a little less fun. We were walking around in the rain with freezing weather so you can imagine how terrible it was. After the tour, because the rains didn't let up, we went straight home. We had planned to go to the Golden Gate Bridge too but unfortunately, the weather wouldn't cooperate.

Before Dad left, he left me with some things to do and ponder on. First, he wanted me to make sure of my health, meaning I should get medical insurance and start working out. Undoubtedly and undeniably, I gained weight this Christmas season (I wouldn't say how much, though). Second, he suggested that I plan out my life and career. Of course, this erased all possibilities of me going back in pursuit of a dream I had in the Philippines (jokingly, I was given a "travel ban" to the Philippines). I guess that was the last nail in the coffin for that dream, so to speak (the other parties involved also nailed it down too, so I guess there's really no choice).

Anyway, my Dad wanted me to plan out a career that I want to take. He wanted me to get at least a Master's degree so I could be competitive here in America. And so this leaves me with almost no choice but to ponder on what I want to take. I was thinking of going into sports psychology or maybe counseling. Going into human resources, well, is still an option but it's something I'm a little less inclined to do, seeing how tedious the process is (have to study employment laws and stuff - I don't want to take anything that will put me at risk legally). I still have a few years (around 2-3 years) to plan for that so I want to keep that off my mind for the moment.

Before my Dad left, he gave all of us a tight hug. It was quite emotional, even more so for my Mom, who was in tears. I was able to fight off mine but the sadness is still there. Though at times, I didn't appreciate my Dad's presence here (he was annoying at times), I can see he meant well for me. He saw a bright future in me and I guess this sort of pressures me to meet his expectations. I still don't know how I will but someday, I'll have it all figured out. I just have to reorganize my life now, I guess. I've been in such a clutter since experiencing the "death of a dream".

Oh, well. Reality strikes. Tomorrow is another workday...