Goodbye, grandpa...

My grandfather finally passed away early this evening, January 9, 2005, at 5:35 PM. He had been in pain for the last two weeks (and perhaps the last 5 years since his dialysis began).

It's tragic how his condition turned for the worst. It all began with his rectal bleeding and then it escalated from there. Towards the end, he had developed emphysema (a lung disease) and his renal activity had deteriorated badly. Dialysis was getting hard and painful for him, so much that he decided to stop. It wasn't too long before the toxins got the best of him.

I got the news shortly after Mom and I arrived from doing a bunch of things. We had purchased a bunch of phone cards so we could make calls to relatives in the Philippines to break the sad news. When we got to their house, that's when my cousin told me that he had passed away.

We all took his death hard (everyone was crying at some point) but grandma took it the worst. Initially, we didn't tell her but later on, when we had to, she just broke down. We took her to his body and she placed her hand to his and sobbed "Hayyyy, Pete. Hayyyy, Pete...".

I myself had my own quiet time right after seeing the body and saying goodbye to him one last time. That's when I cried. I walked outside the house and cried. When I first heard the news, I was just stunned, too stunned to cry. It was only when I went outside that I broke down. My grandfather and I shared a bond created by my taking him to his medical appointments (he used to ride my car and from now on, the front passenger seat will always be special because that's where he used to sit). I used to joke around with him and he'd laugh. I used to cut his hair, too. I did so many things for him and it's hard to see him gone.

Before he passed away, at least, I'm glad that I was able to say what I needed to say to him. I told him that we'll take care of grandma, that he should be strong, and that he had nothing to worry about. Most of all, I was able to tell him how much I love him.

Just before he was wheeled out on his way to the morgue, I spoke to him one last time. I told him that he's now in good hands with the Lord. And then I kissed him goodbye.

I guess there's nothing much I can do now but pray for the eternal repose of his soul. I'll surely miss him but the memories will live on. He'll always be in my heart no matter what.

I love you, grandpa. I'll miss you. We'll see each other again, someday...

In memoriam to Pedro O. Crisostomo (April 26, 1919 - January 9, 2005).